How do you evaluate if you’re doing well? Do you look at your bank account? The car you drive? The number on the scale? Your relationship status?
At one time or another, any of these could send me into a tailspin. My day would be going fine and then bam! A notification. My account is overdrawn…again. Soon to follow, the condemnation of being an adult and still unable to manage my money.
One of my biggest fights is with the scale. Seeing the numbers go up is a surefire way to tank my mood. Even worse, heading to the fitting room where either nothing fits, or I wish it didn’t. But it does. A size bigger than I thought. What now? Another diet, another lose-gain cycle, and another dose of condemnation.
What’s your measuring stick? What ‘must haves’ provoke you to say with your whole heart, “It is well.” Material items? Money? And what’s your attitude like when you have what you need, but not what you want?
Habitually, I’m a positive person. But I’ve had some long periods where circumstances shielded my blessings from my view. Melancholy, I looked at my past experiences as a predictor of my future. I took issue with what I felt was good behavior compared to what I was seeing manifest in my life. I’d become self-entitled and judgmental because my heart hurt and I thought it shouldn’t. I lived for a reward that I didn’t fully understand. If I had, I would’ve realized I had my reward already.
Listen. I lived for a reward of “happy” as it pertained to a status, size, or dollar amount. However, my journey was sculpting a life which would produce everything I need, and everything I need to be in order to enjoy it.
If I hadn’t needed strength, I could’ve missed the benefits of joy and how fortifying joyful moments are.
If I hadn’t missed the mark and seen my own potential for demeaning behavior, I may never have tapped into the power of grace. Grace that helps me wash away guilt and condemnation, as well as empowers me to cultivate a better life.
If I hadn’t felt ripped to shreds and alone in the journey, I may not have availed myself to be discipled, mothered, and retrained on how to think. Accurate demonstrations of how to embrace grace and exhibit grace behavior, over time, leads to life change.
The key? Much of what I desired was in a form I didn’t expect, so I kept missing it. Looking for your own life change? Walk by faith and not by sight! Faith helps me see what the seed will become, so I don’t fret when it goes beneath the dirt to die.
Can you let your seed die? Buried, out of view for days or weeks. Or, will you reach beneath the dirt, disrupting the environment? No growth is guaranteed beyond your faith to be still and believe for it.